I’m a little bit of a grump today………………..actually “little bit” may be an understatement. You know that feeling you get when you have PMS, that irrational, I’m angry with everyone, you’re all giving me the s*&t’s kinda feeling? Yup, you know it, been there recently?????

Well that is me today!

It probably doesn’t help that I still have this disgusting cold and my tooth (see “Ouch” post) is playing up again. Not sure if it is gum damage OR I have a wisdom tooth coming through, either way I’m in agony and 4days from away from having this baby there really is nothing I can do!

The LB’s seem to sense when I am not coping and go out of their way to be trying………………well that’s what this hormonal, slightly paranoid, dellusional woman thinks anyway. Take for example morning tea:

Both LB’s are a little grumpy today LB#1 has been up since 5.30am (yes that’s right) and LB#2 has been up since 6.15am – a wee bit early for both of them. So they are tired, they are not sharing well and their mother has a short fuse……fun eh?

Anyway, morning tea  – LB#2 in his high chair eating a banana muffin (homemade thankyou, yes despite everything that is going on, I insist on cooking delicious, homemade snacks) and LB#1 is on the stool at the bench. I’m unloading the dishwasher -everyone is happy.

LB#2 likes his muffins crushed – when I say crushed I mean he attempts to put the ENTIRE muffin in his mouth all at once then proceeds to grind the excess up. This usually doesn’t bother me he eats 95% of it and besides little boys are by nature, messy little creatures. This morning is no different I have a high chair full of crumbs and floor looks pretty good too!

Not a problem, we have wooden floor boards and we have a vaccum, problem easily solved. He is also drinking his milk out of one of those “spill proof” mugs (please note the EMPHASIS on SPILL PROOF) and is starting to get restless. I get the vac out to clean up the mess before it is walked through the rest of my house. I should note here that LB#2 middle name should be Houdini, he has the uncanny knack of being able to get out of most restraints, including the high chair. This particular skill will probably serve him quite well later in life, in fact when he sends drives his mother to the NUT HOUSE he can show her how to get out of her straight jacket. Anyway I digress, I’m getting out the vac, LB#2 is trying hard to stand in his high chair, LB#1 is sitting at the bench eating his muffin and some rice cakes. Turn around to see LB#2 throw his cup of milk onto the floor, throw is probably not all that accurate – he pelts at me (see told you I was paranoid) with all the strength of an olympic shotputter and this is where my friends the “spill proof” cup – is no longer. I now have milk on the floor, walls and on me…………..do I lose my cool????  

NOOOO, I calmly put the vac to one side, get out the paper towel and proceed to floor level to clean up the MESS! Now the action “proceed to floor level” sounds like a relatively simple task, doesn’t it??? Yes well, anyone who has been pregnant will tell you that grovelling around on the floor when you are 8.5months pregnant is certainly a feat, doing it whilst trying to keep a 14month old from climbing out of his high chair adds a whole new dimension of difficulty and add to this the banana muffin crumbs already on the floor – well you get my drift………..feeling a wee bit frustrated about now!

Clean up milk, start up vac and start on the floor, high chair and the little boy who has sitting/standing/getting ready to pounce in it. Decided that sometimes it is just easier to vaccum your children rather than change clothes – I’m serious quit laughing………

Vaccumming the crumbs off LB#2 makes LB#1 laugh hysterically, in fact he thinks its a game, BIG FUN, Mummy is vaccumming my little brother – oh the delight……….this was probably (in hindsight) my downfall……..LB#1 wants to join in the “game” and proceeds to flick all of his banana muffin crumbs onto the floor…………………….”Not Happy Jan”……I had (literally) just turned off the vac and put LB#2 down on the newly cleaned floor, so in the two nano-seconds it took to put down one little boy I turn to see the other little boy flick all of his morning tea onto the floor………………………………(starting to see red)…………then LB#2 walks through the hail of banana muffin and proceeds to walk it through the kitchen and into the lounge room…………………yup – I’m a wee bit mad about right now…………………

There comes a point in time in your “mothering journey” (don’t you just love that turn of phrase) that you wonder WHY IN HELL you actually had children in the first place. This my friends is one of those times………………

A long time after I had cleaned up both boys (again), vaccumed the floor (again), finally got the dishwasher unloaded and put the milky paper towels in the bin it occured to me that this was the stuff that comedy sitcoms are made of……….it’s just not that funny when you are in the middle of it and there is no director to yell “cut” or stage crew to clean up the mess……………………